Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio

From regular site contributor Jo. Thanks Jo!

All I have to say is “Go Bucks!”

You might be from Ohio (pronounced O-hi-uh), if:

You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!

You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.

You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.

You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candied ones.

“Toward the lake” means “north” and “toward the river” means “south.”

You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.

You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in Cincinnati.

“Vacation” means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer and deer hunting in the fall.

You measure distance in minutes.

Your school classes were canceled because of cold.

Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

You’ve had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.

You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.

You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.
For example: “Where’s my coat at?”

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You think of the major four food groups as corn, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

You carry jumper cables in your car.

You know what ‘pop’ is.

You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
(Amen!)

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports.

You know which leafs make good toilet paper