DISCLAIMER

Last updated: 23-February-2002

I am in no way affiliated with, nor a representative of, nor employed by: Disney, ABC, NBC, HBO, CBS, PBS, E! Entertainment Television, MTV, CNN, TNT, NPR, G&R, Speilberg, R.E.M., Amblin, CBM, EIB network, IBM, Apple, Apple Macintosh, Archimedes, CalTech, CalPoly, the UK, the CIA, the FBI, MicroSoft, the IRS, Adobe, Lucasfilm, UCLA, Jim Henson, George Lucas, the Frugal Gourmet, AmigaWorld, Playboy, Playgirl, Oui, Penthouse, Children’s Television Workshop, NewTek Inc, Jerry Lewis, Visa, First USA Visa, Impulse Inc, Pacific Data Images, Avon, Amway, Crystal Springs Bottled Water Co., Rainy Day Records, SCPA, Eugene Levy, Billy Idol, The Body Shop, Geffen Records, The Statler Brothers, Hour of Power, Thomas Dolby, St. Louis University, Piqua, OH, any of the TeleCos, Bill Cosby, American Medical Association, 5/3 Bank, Oakwood Publishing, O.J. Simpson, Condom-Mania, Bill Clinton, Rush Limbaugh, Eddie Money, Northwest Airlines, Scientology, Chiquita Brands International, Eddie Murphy, PC Week Magazine, Taco Bell, Murphy Brown, Mel Brooks, Albert Brooks, the Brooks Brothers, Chevrolet Motor Company, Eugene OR, Continental Airlines, Ada, OH, Oxford University, Big Brothers & Big Sisters, West Shell Realtors, Reader’s Digest, Turtle Wax, Brookstone, the Rolling Stones, Rolling Rock beer, Heinz 57, ComAir Airlines, Budweiser, the Thing Shop, Indigo Girls, Buddy’s Big Carpet Barn, Quaker Oats Company, John Goodman, NAACP, John McClauhlin Group, Bogart’s, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Hanna Barbera, Parachute Records, Grogg’s Sex Wax and Surf Shop, Gibson Greeting Cards, Gold Star Chili, Minute Rice, Louisa May Alcott, Craftsman Tools, New England Telephone, Sesame Street, Sesame Seed Oil, Hal Hartley, Digital Computers, Route 66 Preservation Society, William Gibson, Kodak, Dutch Girl Dry Cleaners, Blockbuster Video, MasterCard, Rosanne Barr, MacWeek Magazine, PepsiCo, Douglas Coupland, the Bathroom Readers Press Inc, Ed McMahon, Rosanna Arquette, the USAF, 700 WLW, John Lovitz, October Project, High Times Magazine, Star Bank, Ford Motor Company, Jay Leno, Real World Records, Andy Griffith, British Petrolium Oil Company, Chi Chi’s Restaurants, Greenpeace, Lowen & Navarro, HealthNet, the Captain & Teniele, Porter Paints, Olive Garden Restaurants, the USMC, Red Lobster Restaurants, Levi Strauss, McDonalds, the College Board, Wendy’s, Andy Williams, Church of Christ Scientist, the Society for Creative Anachronism, Pisgua OH, Burger King, id Software, LaRosa’s, Los Angeles CA, Weekly World News, French Lick IN, GameTek, Ben & Jerry’s, the Cranberrys, the Stone Mill Bread Company, The Mattress Factory, Camelot Music, Hansard Vogelmandt, Delta Airlines, Dianetics, Ugly Kid Joe, Young Miss magazine, General Mills, Yamaha, Sibcy Cline Realtors, Peter Gabriel, Orange Julius, the American Kennel Club, Dollywood, Siegfried & Roy, 3M, Toyota Motor Company, Mazda, Activision, American Express, Daemon Records, the Cincinnati Bengals, Sandoz Pharmaceuticals, General Electric, Pearl Jam, Fairfield Glade TN, Busy Bee Popcorn, ShowTime, Cincinnati Playhouse in the Park, the Dallas Cowboys, Carnival Cruise Lines, Lucent Technologies, Balloon Works, Debco Electronics, the Revolting Cocks, Star 64, Nine Inch Nails, Oscar Wilde, American Airlines, the USAF, The Smothers Brothers, ESPN, the Olympics, Revco Drug Stores, the Crystal Cave in Orange County California, Van Halen, the Cincinnati Reds, Avid Publications, the NFL, Marge Schott, Holiday Inn, King’s Island, Westwood One Radio, Sarasota FL, the Globe Theatre, Virtual World Inc, Panasonic, DayRunner, Self Magazine, ComputerLand, Alcoholics Anonymous, Opryland USA, Procter & Gamble, Talk Soup, Oprah, Harley Davidson, Gary Larson, the Cleveland Plain Dealer, and Elvis Presely, Inc.

This disclaimer supersedes all previous disclaimers.

“I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blonde I think. I don’t know, her hair was on fire, and all she talked about was herself. You know these kind of girls: ‘I’m hot. I’m on fire. Me, me, me.’ You know. ‘Help me, put me out.’ Come on, could we talk about me just a little bit?” — Garry Shandling