SMACK IT CINCINNATI is Cincinnati's newest radio sensation.

Assaulting your airwaves on Wednesday mornings from 9:00-11:00am June 5 through August 28 2002 on WAIF 88.3 FM, SMACK IT CINCINNATI offers a fresh take on music, talk, humor, and local events.

During the first season, we decided that we needed a good (?) slogan for the program, so we ran the following contest:

WHAT THE ORIGINAL SLOGANS WERE:

SMACK IT CINCINNATI: "What radio was meant to be: FUN!"

Our marketing department decided that the first slogan,

'SMACK IT CINCINNATI: "If you don't like it, tune in 5 minutes later.. it will be something completely different."'

was bad because, apparently, you don't want to say, "If you don't like it..." about a product you're trying to market. The quick follow-up to the first slogan,

'SMACK IT CINCINNATI: "If you like it, tune in 5 minutes later.. you'll probably hate it."'

was also shot down.

Our next slogan,

'SMACK IT CINCINNATI: "What radio was meant to be: FUN!"'

was deemed 'derivative' of WAIF's slogan, which is "WAIF FM: What radio was meant to be".

We're flat out of ideas, folks. We need your help. So we are proud to announce the SLOGAN CONTEST for SMACK IT CINCINNATI. Click here to submit your Slogan suggestions for SMACK IT CINCINNATI!

ENTRIES IN THE SLOGAN CONTEST:

"Smack It, Schmack It." -- TB

"If you smack it you will like it." -- Big Daddy.

"Smack It Up, Cincinnati!" -- Reverend Ealey

"A little somethin' somethin' for everyone." -- JT

"Just a bunch of ****ing **** that play ****ing stupid music all ***-****** day long." -- Archibishop Desmond Tutu

"Listening to Smack It Cincinnati is a lot like trying to stuff your ***** into your ***." -- RH

Here begins the HAIKU portion of the entries. Why HAIKU?

"If You Like Music
And You Have A Radio
Then You Should Smack It!" -- TB

"If You Are Crazy
Like Bruce And Drew Are Crazy
Then You Should Smack It!" -- TB

"If you like Crack-Rock,
And You're Not Too Stoned To Hear,
Then You Should Smack It!" -- TB

"Making strides today...
Continuous stream o sound!
No dead air - Woohoo!" -- TB

Here ends the HAIKU portion of the entries. Why HAIKU?

"Smack It Cincinnati: "Catch It" if you can." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: a quot;Smack It Cincinnati: a reason to get up in the morning." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: tune in for the music; stay tuned for the fun." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: transcending all language barriers." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: it's not as bad as you think." -- MH

Oh geez... Some of these are REAL stinkers! Certainly YOU can do better! Click here to submit your Slogan suggestions for SMACK IT CINCINNATI!

"Smack It Cincinnati: now legal in 13 states." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: Excellent!" -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: it's only an hour." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: give it a chance and it will grow on you." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: we've got fully functioning toilet facilities." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: what else have you got to do?" -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: "Snatch It" if you can." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: making you feel better about yourself." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: we don't need to know what we're doing." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: guaranteed, or your money back." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: if you like it, we do too." -- MH

"Smack MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: Thank God it's only radio." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: it's not what you'd expect." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: you don't have to like us; you just have to listen." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: Live It! Love It! Smack It!" -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: uncommonly good music from uncommonly good guys." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: because dead air is expensive air." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: just don't think about it." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: loved by many; feared by most." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: tune in for the music; stay tuned for the love." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: Is that a Fat Joke?" -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: we can spell "Albuquerque"." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: not what you'd expect from college graduates." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: do it for the love." -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati: Now with 10% more cheese!" -- MH

My own mother could do better than some of these! So can you! Click here to submit your Slogan suggestions for SMACK IT CINCINNATI!

"Just tune in Bruce and Drew,
Bruce and Drew,
and they'll start your heart to woo.
Smack It, Cincinnati! Smack It!" -- MH

"If you tune in Bruce and Drew,
you'll hear some words so true.
Smack It, Cincinnati! Smack It!" -- MH

"When you start to feeling blue,
just tune in Bruce and Drew.
Smack It, Cincinnati! Smack It!" -- MH

"For facts you never knew,
just tune in Bruce and Drew.
Smack It, Cincinnati! Smack It!" -- MH

"If you're running out of juice,
just tune in Drew and Bruce.
Smack It Cincinnati! Smack It!" -- MH

"If you're reaching for a noose,
just tune in Drew and Bruce.
Smack It Cincinnati! Smack It!" -- MH

"When you tune in Drew and Bruce,
you'll think a screw is loose.
Smack It Cincinnati! Smack It!" -- MH

"Jupiter and Zeus?
NO! It's Drew and Bruce!
Smack It, Cincinnati! Smack It!" -- MH

"Smack It Cincinnati -- You could learn a lot from TWO dummies!" -- BD

"Smack It Cincinnati -- Smack it to music. It hightens the experience." -- BD

"Smack It Cincinnati -- If it were any better your neighbors would complain." -- BD

"Smack It Cincinnati -- Judging by the name -- it's not a show for your parents." -- BD

Can you do better than this crap? SURE YOU CAN! Click here to submit your Slogan suggestions for SMACK IT CINCINNATI!

"Smack It Cincinnati -- You hate it? Yeah I know, I love it too!" -- AFL

"Sweet Jesus, It's Smack It Cincinnati!" -- AFL

"Smack It Cincinnati -- I HATE YOUR ASS FACE!!" -- AFL

"Smack It Cincinnati -- Going to the ends of the earth for no real good reason at all." -- AFL

"Smack It Cincinnati -- Fourteen indictments and STILL not a single conviction." -- AFL

"Smack It Cincinnati -- or for our hearing impaired listeners: SMACK IT CINCINNATI!!!" -- AFL

"I laughed, I cried,... I love Smack It Cincinnati." -- TB

"I just want to touch your butt - Smack It Cincinnati" -- TB

"Pop ups and goth chicks and haikus impressive
Girls that mod-er-ate and make messes on dresses
Bruce and Drew's radio show, just as long as they don't sing
These are a few of my favorite things." -- OD

"Smack It Cincinnati -- The bitch set me up" -- Marion Berry

"Smack It Cincinnati! -- the ear candy that melts in your mind, not in your ears." -- KC

"Smack It Cincinnati -- if accidentally swallowed, do not induce vomiting; keep the dress fg; keep the dress for evidence!" -- KC

"Quit staring at my big quivering butt, Smack It Cincinnati!" -- KC (inspired by the muse of Red-suited Wonder Boy)

"Whack it, slap it, fondle or tap it. Any way you stack it, you gotta Smack It Cincinnati!" -- KC

""And there's the jump (drum roll begins........), and he's landed! (drumroll continues........) he's landed!!(.............) HE'S LANDED!!!!! (smash, bash, crunch - drumroll ceases - laughter insues) Smack It Cincinnati!" -- KC

"Get hooked on smack, Cincinnati! Smack It Cincinnati! on WAIF 88.3Wednesdays from 9 to 10am." -- KC

"Smack It Cincinnati! -- More fun than a vibrator and no batteries needed." -- BR

"Smack It Cincinnati! -- Kommandant Leis' favorite program." -- BR

"Smack It Cincinnati! -- No credit card required!" -- BR

"Smack It Cincinnati! -- It's hardcore. It's kinky. It's wilder than you can imagine." -- BR

"Smack It Cincinnati! -- If you smell what The Rock is cooking" -- BR

"Smack It Cincinnati! -- You know you wanna!" -- BR

"If you're in Turkey, you can't smack it. But if you're in cincinnati, smack the hell out of it. Smack It Cincinnati!" -- TB

"Hi I'm Peas. And I'm Carrots. Together, we're Peas & Carrots! And we LOVE Smackit Cincinnati." -- TB

"Welcome to the FASTEST hour on radio! SMACK IT CINCINNATI WAIF 88.3 FM offering tunes, trivia, teasers, AND titillation for the soul!" -- BBBelle

"Time for Tunes with the Loons (Bru and Drew that is!)" -- BBBelle

"Smack It Cincinnati! -- A real happenin' kind of place!!!" -- BBBelle